Confidence and happiness in the digital era wrap up

By Angela Mellak

Last night we were honoured to have these two incredible women share their experiences and insights.

Kate Boorer & Rachel Service,

Kate Boorer

Kate is one of Australia’s leading experts on career, confidence and personal brand. She is a sought-after speaker mentor and facilitator who helps CEO’s, leaders and professional women achieve commercial, professional and personal success. Her strong corporate experience and financial acumen combined with years of working as a consultant, facilitator and coach provide a unique blend of skills and experience that guarantees practical and commercial outcomes for her clients.

Kate’s an active thought leader and advocates for gender equality and founder of Young Professional Women Australia – an organisation with a collective voice of more than 4,000 members committed to supporting the progression of professional women in their early-mid career. For over 5 years the organization has provided free advice, education and networking events as well as professional development programs that empower and inspire women to challenge the rules, ultimately becoming role models and change makers in their organisations.

Rachel Service;

Focussed on the crossroads between psychology and work, Rachel exclusively speaks on opportunities for businesses to retain, develop and grow their people.

Overworking, depression and anxiety was Rachel Service’s life. At 22, she passed out before work. At 24, she couldn’t walk after working herself to the ground. At age 30, the warning signs were appearing again. After years of ignoring helpful advice, it took a pivotal moment in her career in New York City, when she realised she turn the beat around.

Rachel Service is the Founder of Happiness Concierge, a training company most well known for its work with global firms who want to help their teams kick ass at work.  Now a keynote speaker and advisor to fast-growing businesses, Rachel divides her time between growing the Happiness Concierge stable of trainers and speaking internationally.

Kate

“What is confidence anyway, and how do we build it?

The confidence conversation is different for men and women”

It is many things from walking into a room and taking up space, but we have all felt at one time or another in our lives, probably as a child dancing around Woolworths! “Confidence is in us all the time, so we don’t need to ‘create’ it. We give it away too easily with self-talk, comparisons to others etc. It’s all about reconnecting with your core confidence.”

“Everyday you have the opportunity to act confident.”

Men and Women are very different when it comes to confidence, this plays out very much in job hunting.

Job hunting is brutal, we know how much it can affect confidence. Men will apply for a job if they can do a few things listed women won’t apply if they can’t do one of the set criteria. we encourage women to go for job’s they don’t think they will get and a job they think they can .. basically to prep them for and guess what happens? Yes, they get interviews for those jobs.

“So, for every job you think you can do, apply for another you’re not sure you could do and see what happens.”

“Confidence links in with your personal brand.”

A lot of the time its not about just working really hard and know your stuff, as this can equate to being invisible or if you don’t know how to blend the two burnout. We need to do personal brand building (HerWit)

“Everyone has a personal brand – it’s the things you say and do, and the things you don’t say and don’t do. The key is figuring out how you market that.”

“Think – if I was a product, what would I want to be known for?”

“Often it comes down to relationships and owning your own personal brand.”

“Digital has given us accessibility, but we only tend to share the good stuff so there’s an unrealistic perception built.”we have the ability to tell a story – we only tell positive stuff but we need to start telling both parts (good and bad). We need to be authentic.

Personal brand, five years ago it was all about image but now it’s evolved, no longer about how you look and what you wear – it’s about changing careers, gig economy, how people work. Changing, adapting and therefore you need to package yourself up to a point that you are clear about who and what you want.

This is where it moves towards networking, taking ownership and accountability for your personal brand, get a clear picture of currently what people think about you. Do some simple research with key people around you, your boss, colleagues. Have a respectful and have a mature conversation about it.

Once you know what you want to be known for then start to articulate it to them, then they will think of you in that way- positioning this helps to not be invisible.

Rachel

Thought her body had betrayed her when she collapsed in the shower one morning. She went against it, and ended up not being able to stand up and use her legs. Adrenal fatigue!

“Only one person can change the way I do things … Beyonce.” So off I went to her concert in NYC and realise “I couldn’t enjoy the things that meant so much to me anymore.”

As a self-confessed perfectionist and workaholic, I know that its up to me to set the balance. Its natural If you’re inclined to seek work as your primary source of joy, you’re inclined to want to overperform. You just need to self-regulate. Why not do a case study of what you have achieved?

Evidence + validation (from someone you respect) + self-belief = confidence.

“Comparisons are the thief of all joy!”

“Happiness is whatever the fuck you want it to be!”

“Think to yourself – how do I want to feel every day? What do I want to have? Get clarity on what you want, and what gives you your mojo!”

“Every now and then, turn off your notifications and go into self-indulge mode”

“Companies need to get clarity on what archetype their people have. If you know that, you can alter your style to match that.”

“There is such a need to have constructive conversations on both sides – grown-up conversations.”

“Understand your staff, and what gets the best from them. Things like – do you work best in the morning or afternoon? Get to know that about your team.”

“What does a happy life look like?”

“Say yes to things, but that means you’ll have to say no to other things.”

“What’s most important, and what will bring you most happiness? Get clarity on that!”

“In this moment right now – what is most important?”

The world today moves at an epic pace – we need to learn to say “no” to things – we feel compelled to success and Perfectism. We need to learn to say no without emotion.

How to say “No” it is called a ‘No Sandwich’ –

  1. validate the other person, show respect with things like  “oh yeah, I hear you” or “oh I haven’t heard that one before?” etc.
  2. say no without emotion or excuses.
  3. Dangle the opportunity – “hey, while we’re talking about that I would love to talk about resourcing”.

“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Get clear on what help you need, then go and seek it out!”

How can we be happy in the digital era?

Kate – It’s clarity – get clear and make decisions what is important right now! Most people find it hard to do

Set up little things you can do at work that make you happy, watching a video of your child, friend, niece or cat at lunchtime, have lunch outside every day. Call a fun friend, find whatever it is and set it in your day.

Rachel- Stop comparing yourself, ask how do I want to feel every day..write this down work on having clarity in what brings you joy…

Mentor -how to find one?

Kate – Get into programs, network – make sure your clear on what help you need, and go seek that but don’t’ start with can you be my mentor, begin with I’d love to understand your thoughts..  “can we catch up for breakfast? then if you get along and you feel this person is someone you would get along with try to do this every few months”

check out the full gallery https://digitalwomensnetwork.com/galleries/

 

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